My dear Jagjit,
I am in a well here and hoping you are also in a well there. I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast. We are not living where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I am not able to send the address, as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to take our earlier address plate here, and that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the toilet. But I’m not sure it works too well. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain, and haven’t seen them since.

The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way, I took Bahu to our club’s poolside. The manager is Badmash. He told her that two piece swimming suit is not allowed in his club. We were confused as to which piece we should remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in the nearby toddy distillery. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father’s last wishes. His father had wished to be buried in the sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

Love,
Mom.

P.S. : Jagjit, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.

Fesyen terkini hasil rekaan pereka fesyen terkenal ni Zimbabwe, Ahmad Augustino Afandi.. Akan mula dipraktikkan oleh customer service di Aeon Credit tidak lama lagi.

Starbuck coffee ala kampung di Alor Star.

Gempar!! Penduduk FELDA Triang 3 di Pahang gempar dgn kemunculan transformer di kawasan ladang kelapa sawit di situ. Transformer terbabit dikatakan terbang dan lenyap di angkasa setelah membantu peneroka2 FELDA di situ memunggah buah-buah sawit ke kilang berhampiran.

Malaysia akan menerbitkan satu lagi filem superhero yg berkualiti tinggi berjudul 'Lelaki Labah-labah' yg penuh dgn adegan mendebarkan serta menyakitkan hati

Akhirnya identiti sebenar Batman berjaya dibongkar. rupa-rupanya beliau merupakan anak kepada Superman. tak caye???

Subject: Problems with my new computer

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

We have bought a computer for our home and we have found some problems,which I want to bring to your notice:

1. There is a button 'start' but there is no'stop' button. We request you to check this.

2. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friends clicked 'run' he ran up to Bhatinda! So, we request you to change that to 'sit', so that we can click that by sitting.

3. One doubt is whether any 're-scooter' is available in system? I find only 're-cycle', but I own a Vespa scooter at my home.

4. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot trace the key with this ' find' button, but was unable to trace. Please rectify this problem.

5. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when you will provide that?

6. I bought computer, CPU, mouse and keyboard, but there is only one icon which shows 'MY Computer': when you will provide the remaining items?

7. It is surprising that windows says 'MY Pictures' but there is not even a single photo of mine. So when will you keep my photo in that.

8. There is 'MICROSOFT OFFICE' what about 'MICROSOFT HOME' since I use the PC at home only.

9. You provided 'My Recent Documents'. When you will provide 'My Past Documents'?

10. You provide 'My Network Places'. For God sake please do not provide 'My Secret Places'. I do not want to let my wife to know where I go after my office hours.

Regards,
Banta

Last one to Mr Bill Gates :

Sir, how is it that your name is Gates but u are selling WINDOWS?

Pasni kalu korang guna pertol pump ke, mesin atm ke, vanding machine ke, washing machine ke, ape2 jenis mesin je la, pas guna tu ckp la terima kasih..kesian orang kat dlam tu susah payah kerja..dah la sempit dalam mesin tu..

Berikut merupakan sedutan filem yg bakal menggegarkan pawagam Malaysia, 'Si Kacak dan Raksasa Gorgon' arahan pengarah tersohor tanahair. Filem bajet rendah ini diramal akan meraih kutipan tertinggi di dalam sejarah perfileman Malaysia.

Saintis di seluruh dunia buntu mencari jalan untuk mengitar semula plastik. Namun kanak-kanak ini berjaya menemui cara yg paling efektif. Kempen kitar semula plastik hasil idea bernas kanak-kanak ini sedang giat dijalankan di seluruh dunia bagi mengurangkan kesan perncemaran alam..

Carta terkini taktik-taktik pendatang asing tanpa izin (PATI) menyeludup masuk ke Malaysia. Peringatan kpd penonton, jgn sesekali meniru aksi-aksi ngeri ini jika anda masih berfikiran waras.

NO 5
Dalam beg baju

NO 4
Belakang seat penumpang

NO 3
Dalam dashboard

NO 2
Dalam enjin kereta

JUARA..
Dalam seat depan!!!

contoh soalan karangan yg bagus untuk meransang pemikiran kreatif pelajar. tetapi disusuli oleh karangan yg melampaui pemikiran manusia biasa.

Kepada semua ibu bapa dinasihatkan agar menyemak buku karangan anak2 untuk memastikan tiada karangan tentang hari tua anda ditulis oleh mereka.. gelap masa depan tu...

Seorang perempuan tua berjumpa seorang doktor dan bertanya, "Doktor, saya ada masalah dengan perut yang selalu berangin, Jadi saya selalu kentut. Tapi tak pernah menganggu saya...kentut saya tak pernah berbau, dan senyap."

Doktor meminta penjelasan lebih lanjut dari perempuan tua itu dan perempuan tua itu berkata, "Sebenarnya, saya sudah kentut sebanyak 20 kali ketika berada dihadapan doktor. Mungkin doktor tak tau sebab kentut saya tidak berbau dan senyap."

Doktor itu menjawab, "Ok, sekarang ambil pil ini dan datang jumpa saya minggu depan."

Seminggu selepas itu, perempuan tua itu kembali.

"Tuan Doktor!!!" panggilnya sambil marah-marah, "Saya tak tau pil apa yang yang doktor beri pada saya, tapi sekarang kentut saya...walaupun masih senyap...tapi baunya sangat busuk."

Doktor itu membalas, "Bagus!!! Kita sudah berjaya mengubati hidung Makcik yang tersumbat, sekarang, mari saya periksa telinga Makcik pulak."

Ni x tau la baru pas smayang raya ke, on the way nak gi akad nikah ke ape..sempat lg tu beratur beli nmbor ekor..Astaghfirullah...bawak2 la bertaubat abg oii..

Lagi satu bukti math dan bahasa tidak berkadar terus..

sengalkah makhluk yg mnjawab soalan ini? ataupun org yg bg soalan ini yg sengal?sama2 kita fikirkan.. renung2kan dan selamat beramal..

Jawapan mudah kpd sesape yg malas dan bengap utk mnghafal rumus serta formula2 math. Sila amalkan utk mnambah tahap kebengapan anda..

Panduan pnggunaan tandas yg cukup efektif. ingat, sila tembak tepat ke sasaran anda..

Amaran khas untuk pasangan yg bakal kahwin. sila tidur dgn secukupnya sblum majlis persandingan anda! Jangan kahwin masa musim bola..

P.S : Dengar cite pompuan ni tuntut cerai sbb malu sgt.. hahahaha

tu la..masa skolah dulu asyik ponteng je..mak suruh gi skolah ko pegi mancing, main polis sentri, main masak2..

kecik-kecik dah camni kalu besa nnt agaknye bleh angkat lori sampah slamber-slamber je..aku nak train anak aku camni gak ah..

Awek seksi untuk disewa. sila hubungi 1-800-88-SEXY segera sementara stok masih ada. penghantaran terus ke rumah anda tak kira di mana jua anda berada.

ini merupakan pelakon2 asal filem titanic sblm mereka resign 24 jam akibat fobia dgn burung dan kemudian diganti oleh leonardo di caprio dan kate winslet.

belon yg boleh mmbuatkan anda rasa terkejut beruk. terkejut ke?

Gambar yg sempat dirakam oleh jurugambar ketika menyaksikan kejadian penuh tragis ini. menurut bebarapa saksi, burung itu telah mengejar mangsa sejauh 8km dan melepaskan beberapa das tembakan tahi ke arah mangsa sebelum mangsa jatuh pengsan kerana tercekik tahi berkenaan.

Ini adalah bukti yg konkrit menyatakan bahawa masalah pemanasan global smakin meruncing dr masa ke semasa. last2 msti dah x gantung ape2 dah....

Contoh karangan drpd seorng anak yg soleh bercerita mengenai keluarga beliau yg aman dan bahagia. AWAS! Sila jauhkan karangan ini drpd kanak2 di bawah 18 tahun kerana amat berbahaya terhadap pertumbuhan minda yg cerdas.